KICHWANGUMU

Njia ya kwanza... Njia mbadala...

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship. "You are advised to watch this week end, kama hujaiona... nzuri sanaaaa... hata kurudia inalipa." But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had. Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life. Adultery happens when you sta...

Man to friend: - I want to leave my wife as she has not been talking to me for Two months now… Friend: - I advice you not to do that as those type of women are very rare to find. (Silent women).

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed. When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company... "You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!" One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the r...

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which She carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived Only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?...

27 th Aug the Whole World is waiting for.. Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles off earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

Wadau huyu dada namkubali kinoma... ukianzia na Benchmark Production ( professional Video and Audio Production Company based in Dar es salaam, Tanzania ) , Bongo Star Search, na mengine mengi tuu... mpaka fashion show huwa anashiriki kwa sababu maalumu, kama kuchangia yatima n.k kwa kweli anavipaji vyakutosha. Nakukubali madame Rita...

Hii ni chiboko... nimeikubali kinoma! KP uko juu mkuu...

A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees. She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed beside her bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor and says, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" "Don't worry," he says, "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the operation done herself." "Who is the third rose from?" she asked "Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!" NOTE: Jamaa wa kitendo cha moto (maarufu kama fire bongo) zile shavu zilitosha kuwa ma...

In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I’ll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis." All three fork over the money. The girl then turns to the window and points outside at a building they’re passing. "See there in the distance. That’s the hospital where I had ...

Landmark domestic trial victory as Tanzanian Domestic Worker in the UK is awarded £58,585.00 Miss Elizabeth Kawogo, a Tanzanian citizen was brought to London in July 2006 by her employer, Mrs Zainab Alibhai , a British citizen who is residing in Tanzania. She was led to understand that her key role would be to assist Mrs A libhai through a post operative period after she underwent an operation on her leg.Upon arrival however, there was a sinister unexpected turn of events. Mrs Alibhai forcibly confined Miss Kawogo to her parent's home, namely Mr Ramdhan Dhanji and Mrs Kubra Dhanji. Her passport was withheld and she was forced to work 15 hours a day, seven days a week without a break. Elizabeth was a domestic slave in the United Kingdom. Mrs Alibhai remained in London for two weeks where she did not undergo any medical treatment; instead she attended her daughter's wedding. As she departed she informed Elizabeth that they would not be going back to Tanzania together, Elizabeth w...

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.. 3. Sleep for 7 hours. 4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm , and Empathy. 5. Play more games. 6. Read more books than you did in 2007. 7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga , and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6. 9. Dream more while you are awake. 10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 11. Drink plenty of water. 12. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip. 14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness. 15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 16...

Newton 's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. ************ ******** Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. ************ ******** Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. ************ ******** Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion . ************ ******** Rajnikanth Method : Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. ************ ******** Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! ************ ******** Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure ...

My name is Cassandra Moloi I'm 28 years old and I have no kids and I'm single. I have 5 degrees and a very successful business enterprise all over S.A. My wish is to meet a loving, kind, honest and caring man to share my wealth and love with. I am willing to accept his kids and if he's unemployed it's not a problem as money is not a problem. I have a fleet of cars including a Hammer, Golf5, Nissan Navara , and BMW Anaconda. I love pet dogs and nature. I have 2 houses in Bedfordview and Bassonia and 4 holiday homes including 1 overseas. I also love traveling but so far there has been no companion as men often feel intimidated by my wealth. I'm not arrogant. I am beautiful, sexy, witty have a good sense of humor and a lovely smile. If you are interested or have a brother or friend that might be, call me on 084 774 2062. Wishing to meet you soon.

Mnywaji wa ulabu aina ya bia akijipimia kwa uwezo wake huko kwa wenzetu walioendelea zaidi ng'ambo / ughaibuni.

$ 350 room A husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk explains that $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager. The manager enters the conversation and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which were available for the husband and wife to use. He also explains that they could have taken in one of the shows which the hotel is famous for. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," Explains the manager. No matter what facil...

An old Matumbi man was struggling a bit with the English abroad. He walks in to the Restaurant and wants to order a chicken, but unfortunately he can't Remember what is chicken called in English. The waiter who wants to take His order is only English proficient. So the old man sees the guy at the Table next to him with a plate with 4 baked eggs on it. The old Matumbi man Points to the plate of eggs and says to the English waiter: I want their Mother!! Mwamba bwana... Have a wonderful day...

Mmmh! kama ni jicho, walahi zeze umejaaliwa... hata urembo pia bibie unao. anayebisha amtembelee kwenye blogu yake kwa kubofya linki hii ifuatayo:- http://8020fashions.blogspot.com/

Marehemu Capt George Mazula (aliyekuwa mkuu wa marubani wa ATCL wakati wa uhai wake) ataagwa rasmi kuanzia siku ya Jumanne usiku, nyumbani kwake mikocheni Dar es salaam. Jumatano asubuhi, mwili utaombewa kanisani (Jirani na nyumbani kwake) na baadae msafara utaelekea Leaders Club, ili kutoa nafasi kwa wana-jamii kutoa heshima zao za mwisho kabla ya mazishi katika makaburi ya Kinondoni, Dar es salaam. Alikuwa mgonjwa, akafanyiwa upasuaji wa mgongo nchini India, uliofanikiwa kwa kiwango kikubwa, akarudi nyumbani. Akiwa nyumbani alipata "attack" ya pumu, iliyomuumiza na kupelekea kifo chake. Mungu ametoa, Mungu ametwaa, Jina lake lihimidiwe, Amen.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3x3?" Boy: "9" Principal: "What is 6x6?" Boy: "36" And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal loo...

Habari zilizoingia saa hii hii, ni kwamba Capt Mazula (wa ATCL) amefariki dunia. Alikuwa mgonjwa, akafanyiwa upasuaji wa mgongo, bahati mbaya hakuamka. Tunafuatilia kwa karibu habari hizi ili tuwaletee utaratibu mzima wa mipango ya mazishi. Natanguliza pole kwa familia, ndugu, jamaa na marafiki, pamoja na wafanyakazi wenzake wa ATCL. Mungu aiweke roho ya marehemu mahala pema peponi. Amen

Lady: Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to KIGOMA . Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ~~~~~~ A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, 'Order, order.' The drunkard immediately responded, 'Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda.' ~~~~~~~