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A 70 yrs old man asks his wife "Do you feel sad when you see me running after young girls?" Wife replied, "No not at all, even dogs chase cars yet they can't drive

Robot fish developed by British scientists are to be released into the sea off north Spain to detect pollution. If next year's trial of the first five robotic fish in the northern Spanish port of Gijon is successful, the team hopes they will be used in rivers, lakes and seas across the world. The carp-shaped robots, costing 20,000 pounds apiece, mimic the movement of real fish and are equipped with chemical sensors to sniff out potentially hazardous pollutants, such as leaks from vessels or underwater pipelines. They will transmit the information back to shore using Wi-Fi technology. Unlike earlier robotic fish, which needed remote controls, they will be able to navigate independently without any human interaction. KWA HABARI ZAIDI, BOFYA HAPA...

A married woman was having a really nice time with one of her boyfriends when there was a sudden knock on the door. Thinking that it was her husband. She instructed the man to jump into the ceiling only to find that it was another boyfriend. When the 2nd boyfriend was about to make love to her, the real husband came. Boyfriend 2 had no other option except to jump into the ceiling also. " How are we getting out of here?" asked # 2 to #1 "I do not know about you, for me I am going as soon as the husband starts making love to the wife." When the time came, # 1 jumped naked from the ceiling, landed on the bed and said. " I am Jesus, God shall bless you with a baby girl!" He quickly vanished. # 2 quickly followed and panting said "I am Satan, have you seen Jesus?" "He went this way." the husband replied MSIJE MKAJARIBU BONGO... MTAUWAWA! WABONGO NOMA.

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. 'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?' 'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.' 'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?' 'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.' Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?' 'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!' The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. 'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend. 'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it.' Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.' The mo...

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barak Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles. "OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little ! pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have ...

First-year students at a University Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' As an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation... "I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. "Now learn to pay attention. Life...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be in I.T.," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in management. "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you kno...