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Showing posts from May, 2009

Be informed, take care when working with...

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TUWE MAKINI, CLICK INSIDE THE ARTICLE TO EXPAND THE SIZE. KICHWANGUMU

Taswirazzzz!

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Haya mambo ya taswiraz nimeyaibua kutoka issa michuzi blogspot... kwa data zaidi bofya hapa

JK hana dawa... asaidiwe!

Na Andrew Mushi KWa muda sasa tangu nimekuwa nikiandika makala na mada nyingine katika vyombo vya habari , nimekuwa nikipokea maoni mengi sana kwa njia ya barua pepe, simu, ujumbe mfupi wa simu na hata ana kwa ana. Wengi wa wanaotoa maoni wanakimbilia kunyooshea vidole viongozi wa vyama vya siasa na zaidi chama tawala, na taasisi nyingine za utawala ndio wanawajibika kuchukua hatua ili kuleta mabadiliko na maendeleo ya nchi yetu. Kitu kimoja kinachojitokeza wazi ni kuwa viongozi ndio wanapaswa kuwa wabunifu, kupangilia vizuri mipango ya maendeleo. Zaidi tegemeo limewekwa kwa Rais, Makamu wa Rais, Waziri Mkuu na baraza la mawaziri na kwa mbali kidogo wabunge. Kwa mtizamo wangu, hapo ndio tunapokosea. Mbaya zaidi, ni taasisi za kitaifa ndio zinazotazamwa kuwa ndio zenye nafasi ya kuleta mabadiliko. Taasisi kama kijiji, kata au hata wilaya hazionekani kuwa nafasi ya kuwa chachu ya kuleta mabadiliko tunayoyatamani kila kukicha. Pia, kuna asasi na taasisi kama makanisa, misikiti, hospitali,...

Kwa nini HIV inasambaa haraka...

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CLICK PICHA HII UIANGALIE KWA UKUBWA ZAIDI NA KUELEWA KWANINI?

Tembo Ametingwa...

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Utalii gani huu...

Wednesday joke...

By Jovin Shumbusho Dar es salaam A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!' The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

Recent miracle in Egypt! Broadcasted in CBS...

By A. Kabigi Dar es salaam. A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife because she was reading the Bible and then buried her with their infant baby and an 8-year old daughter. The girls were buried alive! He then reported to the police that an uncle killed the kids. 15 days later, another family member died. When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under the sand - ALIVE! The country is outraged over the incident, and the man will be executed at the end of July. The older girl was asked how she had survived and she says: - 'A man wearing shiny white clothes, with bleeding wounds in his hands, came every day to feed us. He woke up my mom so she could nurse my sister, ' she said. She was interviewed on Egyptian national TV, by a veiled Muslim woman news anchor. She said on public TV, 'This was none other than Jesus, because nobody else does things like this!' Muslims believe Isa (Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He really was crucified, and it's c...

Mazungumzo kati ya mgonjwa na dakitari

Mgonjwa: Naumwa sana. Doctor: Unaumwa nini? Mgonjwa:Nimefulia. Doctor:Umefulia nini? Mgonjwa:Ramani ya maisha. Doctor: Mchumba wako nani? Mgonjwa: Liumba. Doctor: Timu yako? Mgonjwa: Arsenal. Doctor: Kazi? Mgonjwa: Nilikuwa Afisa GTV. Doctor: Baada ya hapo? Mgonjwa: Nikawa Afisa Paradise Hotel. Doctor: Je akiba unayo? Mgonjwa: Yote ipo DECI. Doctor: Unaishi wapi? Mgonjwa:Mbagala. Doctor: Subiri kufa.

A need for back to asia movement? Waondoke!!!

Hayati Baba wa Taifa (aendelee kupumzika kwa amani) aliposema ubaguzi wa rangi ni dhambi kama kula nyama ya binadamu, nadhani HATUKUMUELEWA VIZURI…..matokeo yake tumejikuta tukitafsiri tofauti na kusababisha hawa WEZI na MAJAMBAZI wa KIASIA kuendelea kuimaliza kabisa nchi yetu..ndiyo, wapo WAASIA ambao tunawaona kwamba ni wema, aidha wameamua kuwa hivyo kutokana NAFSI ZAO WENYEWE ama ili KU-COUNTER-BALANCE maovu ya wenzao, tuendelee kudanganyika….siombi samahani kwa atakayeniona MBAGUZI ama vinginevyo, anaweza akasema lolote, sababu KATIKA SUALA ZIMA LA KUPIGANIA WATANZANIA WENZANGU NIPO TAYARI KUITWA “KUFANYA LOLOTE” ILI MRADI WAZALENDO WAPATE UKOMBOZI - kama ambavyo WAZEE wetu wa KIAFRIKA walivyopigania UHURU na wengi kufa katika mapambano….kwa muda mrefu sasa hawa wenzetu wa KIASIA wameendeleza UBAGUZI na UONEVU wa chinichini na pia wa wazi katika nyanja mbalimbali za maisha ya kila siku…kuanzia kwa watumishi (kwao ni kama WATUMWA) majumbani kwao, kwenye maduka yao na pia kwenye viw...

Angalia gari lako asubuhi...

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A guy in St. Louis was driving to work on Hwy 144 when he heard a 'pop'. He thought it sounded like a flat tire, though his ride wasn't affected. After pulling over, checking the tires and finding them intact he opened the hood to look at the motor. Before the hood was even all the way open he jumped back in shock and knocked his >head on the partially opened hood, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing! Nobody was going to believe this! .... you sure wouldn't have either! Fortunately, he had a camera in his glove compartment!!!!

JK trip ndani ya US...

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WATATU HAO WAKILA STORI MBALI MBALI... JK, OBAMA, MAMA CLINTON AKIWA NA WAZIRI WA MAMBO YA NJE WA US, MAMA HILARY CLINTON AKIPOKELEWA NA MWENYEJI WAKO BARACK OBAMA NA KUINGIA 'OVAL' OFFICE

The Stranger in our daily life...

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with Adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped Talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushi...

Wazee nao...

An elderly man and his wife were watching TV when a TV Evangelist came on air to pray for the sick. The Evangelist said: "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, raise your left hand and pray with me." The husband placed his right hand on his genitals, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes. His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead !"

Dad tried to hire hooker for son, 14, court told

Father avoids jail as British judge cites his excellent character updated 10:07 a.m. ET May 15, 2009 A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a British court on Friday. The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham, central England. But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard. KWA HABARI ZAIDI BOFYA HAPA

Thin Client zinahitajika!!!!

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Wadau, dili hilo... kwa mwenye kujua wapi pakuzipata hizi 'thin clients' zinahitajika haraka iwezekanavyo kiasi cha thelathini (30). kwa mawasiliano tumia email ifuatayo 'crashinc_02@yahoo.com' MSHINDWE WENYEWE KAZI HIYO

Wonderful English from Around the World

In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Hotel, Yugo...

Jokes of the day...

BWANA MMOJA KASHUKA KWENYE NDEGE BILA SURUALI WATU WAKAMUULIZA VIPI MZEE? AKAWAJIBU HUKU AMEKASIRIKA....'''SI HUYU PILOT WENU ANA WAZIMU ! MARA VAA MKANDA, MARA VUA KANDA NIKAAMUA BORA NIVUE NA SURUALI KABISA KABLA HAWAJATUAMBIA... __________________________________________________________________________________ An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat ; The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely? The Indian: Of course! The American: We do not. We only eat the inner part, the crust is put in a container, later processed, transformed into flour and then sold to India .. The Indian says nothing. The American continues: Do you eat this jelly with the bread? The Indian repeats : Of course. The American: We do not. We eat our fresh fruits for breakfast, we keep all the peels and seeds in containers. Later we process it, and transform it into jelly an...

Bibi harusi wa miaka 84!

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Wachaga na vimobitel...

Inasadikika kuwa kati ya wachaga 10, 8 wanaitumia simu kama ifuatavyo... 1. Huangalia salio mara kwa mara ili mradi aonekane yupo bize na kimob chake. 2. Kila mara hujisikia hamu ya kupiga sim kwa marafiki zake anaowapenda ila huishia kubip hata kwa namba asizozijua yaani za kujitungia tu. 3. Huangalia salio kila mara anapotaka kubip na hata baada ya kubip huangalia salio tena ili kuwa na uhakika na closing balance kwenye simu yake. 4. Hungalia salio hata baada ya kupigiwa 5. Mara zote huweka dole gumba sehemu ya kukatia simu hata kama amepigiwa na hufupisha maelezo na kuwa wa kwanza kuikata simu kama yeye ndio kapiga vile na baada ya hapo kama kawaida huangalia salio tena..

Influentials of todays World...

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These two sisters are maybe the baddest on the planet at this present time and we are proud of it. First Lady, Michelle Obama, and Oprah are pictured at the Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World Gala. Mrs. Obama was looking especially stellar last night. Also in attendance were John Legend and his piece, along with MIA, Gayle King, Tavis Smiley and more.

The Influentials of todays World...

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These two sisters are maybe the baddest on the planet at this present time and we are proud of it. First Lady, Michelle Obama, and Oprah are pictured at the Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World Gala. Mrs. Obama was looking especially stellar last night. Also in attendance were John Legend and his piece, along with MIA, Gayle King, Tavis Smiley and more.

Indian Bajaj...

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Bajaj zipo India bana... bongo hamna kitu!

Ajali...

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Ni kiasi gani cha bia kimepotea?

Nas and Kelis are headed for a divorce

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One of hip hop’s most talked about married couples have split. VIBE has confirmed that Nas and Kelis are headed for a divorce. “I can confirm that she has filed for divorce,” a spokesperson for Kelis told VIBE. “We request the media to respect her privacy during this very difficult time.” At around 3:45pm PST, high-powered attorney Laura Wasser (who has also represented Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, and Stevie Wonder) filed a divorce petition today on behalf of Kelis, citing irreconciable differences. The bombshell comes amid recent reports that the acclaimed rhymer and influential R&B vixen were expecting their first child together—a son. Kelis is currently seven months pregnant. This is unfortunate, we liked them as a couple. Carmen giving your rival brains and now this, Nas can’t seem to win with the ladies. Poor thang.

Jay Z: Not Black Music, Just Good Music...

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A word from Jay Z Last night I performed at the University of Arizona, I had a ball!! Through all the excitement and joking around (as well as the technical difficulties) I missed out on the opportunity to say something important.. On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson.. I thought that to be the oddest pairing EVER but, soon realized, it’s what I’ve always professed..There is NO such thing as BLACK music or WHITE music only GOOD or BAD music..It’s stupid cool to like things that are not like you, and that goes for outside of music.. If you’re an African American you can have a jewish friend. Wait, does Lyor having some Israeli mixed with his jewish count? (Sure they are paranoid but, so are black people after they’ve smoked weed, haaaaa, and plus the JEW fro and the BLUEprint fro are the SAME thing.) I think concerts like this should happen more often. ( Outside of the one or 2 festivals a year or “Zootopia”) I’m putting that into the universe..nex...