KICHWANGUMU

 BEWARE of fake water bottles   Be careful! At the airport or close to any custom service check points, never accept or help somebody to hold his/her bottle of water or other objects, even for elderly person or pregnant women... you could be arrested for cocaine or illegal drugs possession... ( In Singapore, China, etc. that is Death Penalty!! )  If someone asked your help just tell him/her to put them on the floor or other places as police desk, etc...  ( cocaine dealers are very smart nowadays ) . 

Na mwandishi wetu, JamiiForum When I was told this story in 2009 when I was studying in Germany by fellow classmate from Uganda thought it was wrong and jokes. Now I believe the story and I think it’s high time to share with you my fellow Tanzanians to know the truth on the hypocrisy and conspiracy going on EAC  The story is, among of the proposal to solve the problem of land in Kenya which is still hot up to now was to outsource some Kenyans in other parts of East African states, in this issue Tanzania was the first target. This was also shared by authorities in Uganda who received it as it had no problem. There was competing argument on this as some high profile official was provocative on issues arguing that Kenyans elite will be pushed away to other states deliberately by state policies. They concluded with the following three road map.   1. K enya has to push for East Africa political federation as early as possible by 2016. In this federation land owner...

  Nilibahatika kwenda nyumbani kwa rafiki wa kaka yangu kumwona mtoto wa kaka ambaye alikuwa afikia hapo baada ya kufunga shule akisubiri kurudi kwa wazazi wake Dar. Hii nyumba kwa kweli ni nzuri sana... ukiingia tuu, unakutana na ngozi ya zebra (Pichani juu na chini) upande wa kushoto. Mbele unakutana na kioo ujiangalie vizuri na kulia ndio unaingia "Sitting room" si mchezo...   Mama mwenye nyumba akiwa na kamanda Charles Shumbusho. Bahati mbaya Baba mwenye nyumba hatukumkuta, alikuwa mzigoni akizidi kuzichanga... Nyumba NZURIII!   Garden kidogo kwa nje na parking kwa mbaaalii...   Ka-corridor kuelekea nyuma ya nyumba... kausafiri kakitokea huko nyuma...   Majadiliano ya wageni na ku-admire nyumba yakiendelea... wenyeji kama bi Mkunde akiendelea kutoa maelekezo...   Kwa nje... na garden kubwa zaidi yenye bembea na vikorombwezo kibao vya wakubwa na watoto...   Gate la kutokea nje... kushoto, kulia kote garden... Aaah! u...

Mteja : Unauza kiasi gani mitego kumi ya panya? Muuzaji: Unataka kwenda nayo? Mteja : Unafikiri panya watakuja kuichukua    hapa?

A man tells his doctor his wife hasn’t wanted sex for months, and the doctor suggests a consultation with her. so the wife comes into surgery and tells the doctor: ‘Every morning, i take a cab to work. I never have any cash on me, and the driver always ask: ‘So, are you going to pay today, or what?’ And i take the ‘Or what’ option. ‘That means I’m late getting to work, where the boss asks me: ‘So, are we going to make a note of your poor time-keeping, or what?’ And I take the ‘or what’. ‘So by the time i get home, I’m tired out and i don’t want any more sex.’The doctor pauses then asks: ‘So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?’

Kutokana na mvua kubwa iliyonyesha usiku kucha huko Mwanza, matokeo yake ni kutengeneza kaziwa kadogo pale uwanja wa ndege wa kimataifa wa Mwanza kama inavyoonekana pichani. Hii ni leo asubuhi hii...

  Be careful when your boss writes a letter about you… Was this a clever boss or what? LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION : Sipho Mtabela 1     Sipho Mtabela, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2      hard at work in his cubicle. Sipho works independently, without 3      wasting company time talking to colleagues. Sipho never 4      thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5      finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6      measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7      breaks. Sipho is an  individual who has absolutely no 8      vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9      knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Sipho can be 10    classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be...

“Everybody over there should know that the telephone number (of the White House) is 1-202-456-1414,” Baker testified. “When you’re serious about peace, call us.” This statement came out in June 1990 from the former-Secretary of State of the USA Mr. James Baker when talking to Congress about the Senior Bush administration readiness to walk away from the peace process between Israel and Palestine because of Israel’s settlement activity in Jerusalem.

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: NOTE: (H - Husband, W - Wife) H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H -"What's the price?" W - "Only $1,000." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year... H - "What price did he quo...

...Wrinkles ? NO ...Medicines ? NO ...Baldness ? Certainly not. ... Then WHAT ? When your wife starts trusting you !

"Those who have read everything are thought to understand everything too, but this is not always so. - Reading furnishes the mind only with the materials of knowledge. It is thinking that makes what is read ours. It is not enough to cram ourselves with a great load of collections; unless we chew them over and over again, they will not give us strength and nourishment" by Mugaga Mugyabuso, IFM - DSM.

Apple's first financial results since Steve Jobs's death are also the first to fall short of expectations in five years. But Dan Lyons says the big picture remains remarkably bright.    Steve Jobs might have believed in some kind of afterlife— he was a Buddhist , after all. So if he’s out there somewhere, still watching, you have to imagine that he’s not in a particularly good mood today. Either that, or he’s just glad he got out right before the you-know-what hit the fan.   That’s a long way of saying that for the first time in five years, Apple just reported financial results that fell short of what Wall Street was expecting. Wall Street expected revenues in the September quarter would be $29.4 billion. Apple reported $28.3 billion. That’s not a big miss, except that everyone has grown accustomed to having Apple blow way past whatever number Wall Street is expecting. So to miss by even a li...