KICHWANGUMU

Due to a power outage , only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Mommy pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place...... smack his ass again!"

Mike Gilbert, OJ’s former sports agent, has written a book called: “How I Helped OJ Simpson Get Away With Murder.” In it, he says OJ confessed to killing Nicole Simpson back in 1995. This is an excerpt of the alleged discussion that supposedly took place while the two fellas were getting tore up: “O.J.,” I said, “what happened that night? What happened on June 12?” He took a breath, and leaned back. He gave a familiar sigh. He got a very pensive look on his face. He looked at me. “What do you think?” he said. “What do you think happened that night, Mike?” I gave very careful consideration to what I was about to say, and how I was going to say it. I finally answered: “O.J., I believe you were there. I have always believed you were there. In fact, the first thing I said when I heard the news was, ‘So he finally did it.’ ” Then he said, “Mike, I did go there that night, but I didn’t take a knife. Nicole opened the door with a knife in her hand.” I waited. A few seconds passed, and then...

Newlyweirds Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey (Cannon) were made their first public appearance together last night outside the Waverly Inn. They are an odd item indeed. Word is Nick prevented Mimi from dropping $4 mill on a lavish wedding: “The 38-year-old singer — known for her diva demands — had arranged a $4m wedding, but Cannon said it was his way or the highway. Mariah had: Ordered $1m worth orchards; booked a huge event at New York’s St Patrick’s Cathedral; arranged a pink carpet to be rolled out to announce her arrival at the Cathedral; ordered 60 white doves to be released while she and Nick were making their vows; and commissioned a $20,000 Vera Wang bridal gown and matching bridesmaids frocks. And now, because Mariah agreed to the small ceremony, pals [say] Nick has cured her diva-ish ways.”

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' ' I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it...

---- mwanzo wa ujumbe ----- Je unahitaji mtu wa kupokea na kuchangamsha wateja wako? Naitwa Forgive Assenga, nina miaka 22 na elimu ya kidato cha nne, na ujuzi wa kutumia computer. Kabla hamjanishambulia kwa elimu yangu ndogo si mapenzi yangu bali ni mapenzi ya Mungu baada ya baba yangu kufariki nami nikashindwa kuendelea zaidi. Hata hivyo nina maono ya kujielimisha zaidi, sema kwa maisha ya sasa ni muhimu kufanya work-study la sivyo mambo hayaendi. Uwezo wangu mkubwa ni kuongea na watu. Huwa siishiwi maneno na mtu yeyote akiwa nami hawezi kuboreka. Naamini naweza kumudu nafasi yoyote inayohitaji uwezo wa kuongea kama vile kutafuta wateja (sales/marketing), au kupokea wateja (receptionist). Ukinipa maelekezo ya kutosha kuhusu kampuni au biashara yako, na kazi husika naweza kuifanya kwa ufanisi tu. Kikubwa ni usichoke kunielekekeza katika miezi mitatu ya kwanza. Baada ya hapo nitakuwa fiti. Vile vile kwa watu wanaohitaji models wa kuweka kwenye matangazo ya picha sura yangu naamini ina ...

mdau herman (m-bongo mweusi pekee pichani) na washirika wenzake wa shule siku ya kwanza skuli. herman yupo japan akipiga nondoz za kodi