KICHWANGUMU

The neck-less baby with its head almost totally sunk into the upper part of the body and with extraordinarily large eyeballs literally popping out of the eye-sockets, was born to Nir Bahadur Karki and Suntali Karki at the Gaurishnkar Hospital in Charikot. The Karki couple is a permanent resident of Dolakha's Bhirkot VDC. The bizarre baby, however, died after half an hour of its birth, Suntali, the mother, informed. It was taken to the hospital after its death. The news about such a baby being brought to the hospital spread like wildfire and there were hundreds gathered at the hospital to have a look. The police had to be deployed to control the crowd. "We wouldn't have been able to save it, even if it had been brought here alive," said a nurse attending to the mother at the hospital, "This is an extremely abnormal case." The "baby" weighed 2kg at birth and was born after the normal nine-month gestation period. Suntali, already a mother of two norma...

Two women go out one Saturday night without their husbands. As they came back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to wipe herself with, so she took off her panties, used them to clean herself and discarded them. The second not finding anything either, thought, "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon from a nearby flower wreath to clean herself. The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other, "We have to be on the look- out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties..." The other one responded, "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read "We will never forget you."

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne. He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant. The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby. “I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.” Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react. “I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.” Alfie’s dad Dennis told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father. The Secret: He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle. ...

NA HAWA NDIO WATOTO WAO... UZAO WA KWANZA!

A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman costume (mask) and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume (mask). So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband enjoying himself on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he cuddled and occasionally giving a little kiss here and there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, his husband left his new partner ...

Jana tarehe 25 february 2009 Mama Maria Nyerere alimtembea Rais Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete Ikulu jijini Dar es salaam.