KICHWANGUMU

Habari za leo wadau... kwa leo ninapendekeza muvi la kuangalia kipindi hiki cha kusherehekea Idd el Fitr. muvi hilo ni "Daddy's Little Girls". itafute kwa udi na uvumba upate uhondo uliopo ndani yake... Siku zote na popote... jamii ikiamua jambo, kulizuia ni vigumu. imesemwa mpaka kwenye vitabu vitakatifu kwamba "kauli ya wengi ni kauli ya Mungu". basi kwa hayo machache, wadau kazi kwenu.

Work is like that............. You either take it or resign (give up)!!!!!!!!! There are 2 people always next to you: 1 - The (Manager) , smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions! 2 - The ( Team Leader ) , busy figuring out what work to dump on you next..... And , there's YOU , who struggles with it all at the middle! team leader on your right and the manager on your left. The perfect picture is given above.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'For reading a book,' she replies, 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again, 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading' 'Yes, but you have all the equi...

Kama hutaki haya... habari ndo hiyo, kijiji kinahama kwa mpigo. Na gari ndo hilo...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Mambo ya foleni... unaweza kulinganisha na bongo kweli...

TANZANIA NAKUPENDA KWA MOYO WOTE 1. Tanzania Tanzania, nakupenda kwa moyo wote, Nchi yangu Tanzania, jina lako ni tamu sana Nilalapo nakuwaza wewe, niamkapo ni heri mama wee Tanzania Tanzania, nakupenda kwa moyo wote. 2. Tanzania Tanzania, ninapokwenda safarini, Kutazama maajabu, biashara nayo makazi, Sitaweza kusahau mimi, mambo mema ya kwetu hakika Tanzania Tanzania, nakupenda kwa moyo wote. 3. Tanzania Tanzania, watu wengi wanakusifu, Siasa yako na desturi, ilituletea uhuru Hatuwezi kusahau sisi, mambo mema ya kwetu hakika Tanzania Tanzania, nakupenda kwa moyo wote. Swali, Je leo hii tunaweza kusimama na kuimba wimbo huu, tukiwa kifua mbele na furaha kama enzi zile? nahisi umaarufu wa wimbo huu umepotea, hata mashuleni sidhan kama unaimbwa tena, au na wenyewe ulikuwa ndani ya kale kakitabu ka AZIMIO LA ARUSHA. Naomba kuwakilisha...

"The power which you possess is one side of the coin;the other is responsibility. There is no power or authority without responsibility, and he who accepts the one cannot escape or avade the other." - Haile Selassie .

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on" The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. "Your horse phoned"

A machine that catches thieves was invented in the United States of America; it was then installed in different Countries for a test. USA, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves, Zimbabwe, in 20 minutes it caught 2000 thieves, Kenya, in 10 minutes it caught 600 thieves, Tanzania, in 5 minutes the machine itself was stolen!!! Wabongo noma...

katuni za kipanya zinapatikana kwa kubofya hapo chini http://www.kipanya.co.tz/

A farmer orders an expensive milking machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. Soon he realizes that the equipment provides him with more pleasure than his wife does. But when the fun is over, he realizes that he cannot remove the instrument from his tool, anxiously he reads the manual, but does not find any useful information. He tries every button on the instrument, without success. finally the farmer decides to call the customer hotline. 'Hello, I just bought a milking cow machine from your company, It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?'' ' 'Don't worry sir'', replies the customer service person, ''the machine will release automatically once it has collected two litres!'

Joe had a crazy headache that pestered him for several months. He had seen many doctors and none could make the pain go away. After months of pains and visits to doctors, one suggested a specialist but he would cost dearly. Joe agreed to pay anything that would take the pain away! The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was headache free for the first time in over 20 years, but he felt as if he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street he realized he felt ...

When I born, I black When I grow up, I black When I go in Sun, I black When I scared, I black When I sick, I black And when I die, I still black And you white fellow When you born, you pink When you grow up, you white When you go in sun, you red When you cold, you blue When you scared, you yellow When you sick, you green And when you die, you gray And you calling me colored?

There once was a young woman who went to confession.Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."She said, "Last night my neighbor´s husband made passionate love to me seven times."The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."She asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that damn smile off of your face!