KICHWANGUMU

Johnny walked into class every Morning with a black eye. Teacher:- what's wrong? Johnny :- our house is very small. Myself, my mum and dad; we sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny r u sleeping?' Then I say No & then he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye" Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet & don't answer. The following morning Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again. Teacher:- My goodness why the black eye again? Johnny:- Dad asked me again, Johnny are u sleeping? I shut up & kept mute. Then my dad & my mom started moving, u know, at the same time Mum was breathing seriously, kicking her legs up frantically & squealing like a hyena on the bed. Then my dad asked my mum, are u coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, are u coming too? Dad answered:- Yes. They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming.:O X_X. And he gave me a black eye again, poor Johnny...

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe"

  Hii ndio hali ya kawaida ya usafiri kunako Mumbai... Bajaj imeshona mtu mpaka nyuma kabisa... unaona mdau alivyojikunja nyuma hapo! Thats India...   Haki za wanyama wanajali sana...   Kwa India, Honi ni muhimu sana... wenyewe wanasema "Horn is highly encouraged!" piga sana honi barabarani. Ndo maana hata wakiwa huku wanapiga sana kelele...   Ndo hivyo tena... usingizi! kuna baadhi ya mitaa huwa inafungwa usiku watu walale... huyu inaelekea yupo nje ya duka akiwa na mlinzi mwenzake!

"Another miracle with 10 men wasn't possible," said an angry Mourinho, whose side were overwhelmed 5-0 on their previous visit to the Camp Nou this season "Yes, I think we are eliminated. We will go to Camp Nou with everything and to get a result but I can't see it. "We will be without Pepe and (Sergio) Ramos who didn't do anything and neither did I. "I just want to know why? Why did Pepe get sent off? I just want someone to explain. Why did it happen? "If I say what I think my career ends today. " "Sometimes I am a little bit disgusted to live in this world, but this is the world we live in. "If we go there (Nou Camp) and score a goal, they will kill us again. We have no chance. They have to get to the final and that's that." Scandals "Congratulations to a fantastic football team," Mourinho added in bizarre post-match press conference. "But congratulations for all they have as well,

"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them—a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill"   By Muhammed Ali.

If you are loyal to your wife, you may go to Heaven . And if you are NOT loyal, you will enjoy Heaven on Earth... pssss.....many times..... Courtesy : Thailand Tourism

Watu wamekuwa wakishinda na njaa, kukimbia mitaani, kufanya mazoezi mazito ili kupunguza uzito. Njia nyingine ya kuunguza calories na kupunguza uzito ni hii. ·          Kuwa  na roho mbaya …………………………50   calories burned ·          Kuwa na wivu…………………………………..70 calories burned ·          Kuwa na hofu ya Kufumaniwa……………500 ukifumaniwa ina double (X2).       Kuwa na hofu ya Kufumaniwa na mume/mke wa mtu .......…1500        Ukifumaniwa na mume/mke wa mtu ...................................3000 ·          Kuwa muongo…………………………………..100 calories burned ·          Kusutwa………………………………………..800 calories burned ·          Kuwa na mpenzi  mwenye mdomo……………...500 calories burned ·          Kuwa na mpenzi  muongo………………………. 600 calories burned       Kuwa na mume/mke asiyetimiza mnayokubaliana… 3000 calories burned Chagua njia utakayoona inafaa kulingana na calories unazotaka kupunguza.

VERY INTERESTING STORY TO READ! Death came to a guy and said,”my friend, today is your day". The guy said, "but I am not ready". Death said, "well you are next on my list". So the guy told death, " that's ok; why don't you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go". Death said, " alright then". The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell asleep. The guy removed his name from top of the list to the bottom of the list.   So when death woke up, he said to the guy, “I will start from the bottom of the list because you have been so nice to me".

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then.  And I remember one night in  particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.   On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad.  I remember waiting to see if anyone  noticed!  Yet all my dad did was reach for his Biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.  I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the  biscuits.  And I'll never forget what he said:  "Honey, I love burned biscuits."  Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned.  He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired.  And besides... a  burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"  You know, li