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Showing posts from October, 2008

Mambo ya kubadili kazi...

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said:"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me! The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realise that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I've been driving a mortuary van for the last 25 years." Source: Issa Michuzi Blog

Heart Attacks and Drinking Warm Water

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This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about Heart Attacks . The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water , maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating. For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer . It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. Common Symptoms Of Heart Attack ... A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack sym

Kimbembe cha wastaafu wa EAC leo asubuhi

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wastaafu wa jumuiya ya afrika mashariki wakiwa katika harakati za kudai malipo yao leo asubuhi. hapa walizuia magari yasipite eneo la daraja la salenda bridge. ilikuwa bonge la mbinde... lakini hatimaye walikubali kuondoka baada ya mkuu wa mkoa wa dsm, mh abbas kandoro kuongea nao. habari zaidi baadae...

Ze KPzzzzzzzz

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A warning to you all...

I (Mary Mwithiga) was shopping at a supermarket in town (Imalaseko in Dar town) and as I carried on, I lingered over some cute looking candles that seemed they'd look good in my house... little did I know that some dude was up to no good! He was smartly dressed. He seemed interested in the same candles and was busy smelling one when he drew my attention to smell the same... and as he took a step towards me, holding out the candle for me to smell, while telling me how nice it smells etc... I was hit by a strong/pungent smell of alcohol! I stepped back immediately cos the last thing I needed was to deal with a drunkard! I asked him if he worked at the supermarket and he said yes. I was very disgusted with that particular store if that's the calibre of attendants they work with! I immediately thought to confirm if the dude worked there and was told he is not an employee. By then, My heart started racing at a dangerous pace! I was prompted to pray quietly in my heart to God, to hel

Ze KPzzzzzzzzzz

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KP nae...

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Friday Story, Know where you are going in life!

Life in the present world is indeed a rat race. Many who have qualifications from reputed universities too do not know where they are going in life. ************ ********* ** A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Mexican. "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life." The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you!

A priest that cannot lie...

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland . She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare? "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son", he replied. Finding th

INFORM ALL YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS

India has become a dumping ground for banned drugs ; also the business for production of banned drugs is booming. Please make sure that you buy drugs prescribed by a doctor only (Also, ask him to tell you which company manufactures it, this would help to ensure that you get what is prescribed at the Drug Store). It would help if you buy that from a reputed drug store. Not many people know about these banned drugs and end up consuming them unknowingly causing a lot of damage to themselves. DANGEROUS DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIA FROM WHERE WE NOW IMPORT MOST OF OUR DRUGS, BECAUSE THEY ARE INEXPENSIVE!!! Here is the score: The most common ones are D cold, Action 500 & Nimulid. But also there are these ones: ANALGIN: This is a pain-killer. Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression. Brand name: Novalgin ___________________________________________________________ CISAPRIDE: Acidity, constipation. Reason

KP kama kawaida...

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Ujumbe wa Ijumaa, Marafiki wa kweli...

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr / Mrs REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying 'Dawg ... we screwed up... but that was fun!' FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry REAL FRIENDS: cry with you FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!' FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile REAL FRIENDS: Are for life FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you. REAL FRIE

KP Leo...

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YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This is pretty neat DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. (You'll need a calculator)! Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758... If you haven't, add 1757. 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number. ( I. e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.) The next two numbers are YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!) MMEKUBALI WADAU?!!!!!!!!!

Impossible Things To Say when Drunk

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool! 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road. 10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning. Try If You Dare...!

Kamilioni aanguka na kuvunjika Arusha

MSANII maarufu wa Uganda, Jose Chameleon amejirusha kutoka ghorofa ya tatu ya Hoteli ya Impala mjini Arusha na kusababisha kuumia vibaya ikiwa ni pamoja na kuvunjika miguu yote. Chameleon ambaye amekuwa akitamba na nyimbo za ‘Jamila’, ‘Mama Mia’ na nyingine alijirusha kutoka chumbani kwake katika ghorofa ya tatu ya hoteli hiyo alfajiri ya saa 11 kuamkia juzi. Imeelezwa msanii huyo alishituka akiwa chini amevunjika miguu hiyo na walinzi walikimbilia eneo aliloangukia baada ya kusikia kishindo na kumkuta akiwa hawezi kuinuka. Hata hivyo haikueleweka kilichomfanya msanii huyo ajirushe, baadaye wenyeji wake ambao ni Clouds FM waliokuwa wamemualika kwa ajili ya shughuli ya Fiesta ya Tanga juzi walibidi kufanya utaratibu wa kumpeleka hospitali. Lakini baadaye walitakiwa kutomtibu na baba yake aliagiza ndege ambayo ilitua kwenye Uwanja wa Ndege wa Kimataifa wa KIA na kumbeba na kumpeleka Uganda ambako amelazwa katika hospitali moja ya nchini humo akipata matibabu. Kuumia kwa msanii huyo kulis

How smart is Your Right Foot?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon..... ...... This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain! 1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction! I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so. Inform your buddies to frustrate them too.

Furahi day meseji...

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Bofya ndani ya picha ikue na uweze kusoma vizuri, my shoes...