KICHWANGUMU

An Indian goes to Australia and goes to Woolworths ( grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food. Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog food to his kids. He asks the Indian to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Indian goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food. Next week the Indian comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager pu...

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day an d said, Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like." The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.   The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.  They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could   not get the spoons back into their mouths.   The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.  The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."  They went to the next room and opened the door.  It was exactly the same as the first one.  There ...

  Jose Mourinho, best coach in 2010 by FIFA The crowning glory of a perfect year came on Monday 10 January 2011 in Zurich. The Special One is now officially the best coach around, after being chosen as FIFA World Coach of the Year for Men’s Football. Interviewed by FIFA.com shortly after the ceremony, the charismatic supremo looked back on his fine year, touched on his special bond with his former Inter charges and summed up his career so far in his own inimitable fashion: “I’ve gone from an assistant coach to the best in the world in ten years, so what I’ve achieved is quite sensational.” Shortly before the award was announced you spoke about how hard it was to be waiting for the result. How do you feel now that you’ve won? What I want to do now is to go home, so I can celebrate with my family and savour the moment. But I’m such a “terrible” person, that I’m already thinking about trying to win Thursday’s game with Real Madrid. I’m going to keep this trophy safe...

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.   She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace. Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.   When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: "What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!" For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn't want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought: "ah... What this abusive man do now?" Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. Ah! That was too much! She was much too angry now! In a huff, she took her book, her...

Ni kweli, kila mtu ana mawazo. Lakini huyu binti katika picha hapo juu amenisononesha sana... hii picha ukiiangalia vizuri ina maelezo mengi, marefu na yenye maudhui mengi sana. Sijui nini kilimsibu, lakini kwa vyovyote vile binti wa umri huo na picha kama hii ni lazima si shwari... IMENIUMA... Tanzania ya leo ina maandalizi gani kwa binti huyu na wenzake wa umri huo... sitaki kuingia kwa undani. Lakini naamini una macho na uwezo wa kufikiri na kutafakari ukilinganisha na yanayoendelea kwenye nchi yetu, Mama Tanzania. Je, unaiona Kesho ya watoto wetu???? Tafakari... Picha nimeipata kwenye blogu ya Mjengwa BOFYA kwa data zaidi.  Na huyu dogo tunamsaidiaje? Kesho yake ikoje? kiafya? kielimu? na kimaisha kwa jumla? Tafakari...

Friends, I BET YOU'LL ALL LOVE THE MORAL OF THIS STORY !!!! enjoy Aggie, DSM. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: .... PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 . This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nu...

  Chunga J Misonge and Hannan Adan  

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. By George Bernard Shaw, from Peter Ulanga

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late 2 become what u might have been.Life is too short 2 wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat u right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If u get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.  by Rukia H. Penza, DSM.

Joe Mally wishes all bloggers and members of this blog a prosperous new year 2011.

  huyu bata ni noma... bibie anazuga na vifaranga vyake yeye anapiga dili kwenye 'wallet' ya bibie! ikifikia hatua hii kwenye ujenzi maana yake ni nini? Pagumu sana hapo!

  kwa mbaaaliiii ndo anaanza...   anakaribia...   maandalizi yamekammilika.... anaumwaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sasa hapa kinachokosekana ni ustaarabu, maadili au ndio tukubali mswahili ngozi ya nanihii! Maana katika mazingira hayo sijui mdau atamlaumu nani. Lakini labda alibanwa sana, maana haja ndogo ikibana ni soo! ila mcharuko wa tumbo  ni noma zaidi, usipime!... DUH!