Today's Jokes...

$ 350 room

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk explains that $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.

The manager enters the conversation and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which were available for the husband and wife to use.

He also explains that they could have taken in one of the shows which the hotel is famous for. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,"

Explains the manager.

No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!" The manager is unmoved. Eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and hands it to the manager. "But sir," the managers says, "this check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," replies the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife." "What! I didn't sleep with your wife!" exclaims the manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."

Dinner Date

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students:
"Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that
you have to go to the bathroom? Michael?"

Michael: "Just a minute, I have to go pee."

Teacher: "That would be rude and impolite!!!

Teacher: "What about you Peter, how you would say it?"

Peter: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

Teacher: "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

Teacher: And you Little Johnny are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your
good manners?"

Johnny: "I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake
hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope you'll get to meet after supper."

The teacher fainted!!